Do you find yourself often putting others needs before your own? Chasing around after some man or woman who always seems to get their needs met at the expense of your mental wellbeing and your happiness? Well friend you are not alone. Most of us do this at some point, often way more that we would like to admit. We’ve all found ourselves jumping through hoop after demeaning hoop in the hope that if we jump ‘just so’ this time we’ll get it right and “they” will get us and know just how much we love them and they will reciprocate exactly the way we want them to. WELL GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT!!
No, dear friends. Pinning over and losing your sense of center and self for some egotistic maniac who clearly knows how to get what they want, leads to no happiness on either side. They begin to see you as some week pushover of a person who they can take for granted and you begin to resent them for always putting their needs first. Someone told me today “we train people on how to treat us” huh! what a concept! So you not treating yourself with the utmost respect, love and tenderness is just a blaring message to others that that’s how you want to be treated. Even if you say that what you want is respect, admiration, acknowledgment and loyalty. We all know very well that actions speak louder than words. So baby, do what you say and say what you want.
Everyone has been haunted by feeling unworthy, lacking self respect at times. Many of us feel guilty for taking up space and asking for what we want. We express half truths then resort to passive aggressive behaviors. I’m not saying these are always conscious acts of self sabotage, as often these behaviors come from our subconscious due to many years of not asking for what we really want from fear of being rejected or ridiculed. Well, ask yourself something: what’s best? Trying to avoid rejection and never getting what your really want, or risking rejection (by someone who only proves they’re unworthy) and going for what you really want?
The more clearly you can express your needs, the higher the chances of getting exactly what you need and deserve. So the next time he ask you if it’s okay that he cancel dinner and you say yes when the answer is really no, or she ask you if you can stay in and cuddle when you really want to go out and party your ass off and you say yes when in reality what you need is some release away from her, then you deserve exactly what you get. Know yourself and then know how to love yourself first and foremost. You’ll see you’ll get more that you ever knew possible, this goes for friends and work too. Loving yourself is a universal magnet for being loved.
Until next time, Have Sex, be Happy, be Healthy